The Path to Coaching for ADHD

It is a truism that sometimes the best things in life come after many false starts on a long and winding path. This is often the case for someone with ADHD. The stories I hear from clients about how they eventually come to coaching are very similar. “I got the diagnosis and then worked with someone to help me follow through, but they told me it wasn’t working because I couldn’t follow through.”  It can be a torturous process of years of trial and error with various professionals to learn efficient self-management skills. The words I hear most are, “despair”, “lack of effort”, “I failed because of me”, “I want something more from my life”, “I want to be in charge of my own life”.

The good news is that these experiences, while not immediately providing the change clients are seeking, form a rich body of learning about what does and does not work for them. This self-knowledge is key to any successful coaching work they will eventually engage in.

When clients arrive at a coaching session already having a diagnosis and a history of trying many different ways to change things for themselves, they are ready, truly and fully ready, to embark on a productive life changing experience. Their desire for change is at an all-time high, while their despair can be at an all-time low. Paradoxically, these are the conditions that sustain clients when they might otherwise avoid sessions or tasks that feel challenging. These form the motivational foundation from which clients will take risks, tolerate uncertainty, and experiment with how to BE differently in their lives.  

The best news of all, of course, is that these experiences are merely one aspect of the whole person.  And this is what sets coaching apart from other modalities. There is the assumption that all of us are whole, just as we are. Coaching – even ADHD Coaching - is about growing, learning and becoming.  The purpose is to empower, illuminate the essential health of the client, and embrace all parts of ourselves. As Carl Rogers said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” 

Lynda Hoffman, certified coach

Medipsy Psychological Services