6 Steps to Successful (ADHD) Coaching
New clients often ask, "What can I expect
from coaching?" This is particularly true for adults with ADHD who are
already feeling overwhelmed. They want to change their lives for the better,
but they want to do less - not more.
So, how do you get the best results? What leads
to improved work performance, healthy relationships, and financial stability?
As it turns out, the best results occur when clients are prepared to do things differently,
rather than more of the same. Consider
the following 6 steps:
Get to know your ADHD
Getting a diagnosis is important to your
success. (By the way, getting a diagnosis is
doing something differently rather
than continuing with the status quo). There are three sub-types of ADHD, and
many possible comorbid disorders that may be complicating matters. Once you
know exactly which type you have, problem areas can be targeted more
effectively. A diagnosis will also dispel the myth that your habits are a
result of a character flaw (ADHD is a neurobiological disorder, not laziness).
With a diagnosis, you will know definitively why you have not been able to
focus at will like other people. You will learn that you did not cause your
ADHD symptoms and you are not to blame.
Be committed to your stretch zone
Being just out of your comfort zone is how you will
make the changes in your life. Being slightly uncomfortable as you take risks
with new behaviours will result in personal growth, new habits and increased
self-confidence. This is because some anxiety is useful to the learning
process. It keeps us on our toes and tends to mobilize us. The idea is to feel
the stretch, take the action anyway, and celebrate. Your coach will support you
in finding the balance between trepidation and effective learning.
Be in your neutrality
To go to your stretch zone repeatedly, you will need to respond to setbacks with neutrality.
Responding to failure with non-judgment will support you in persevering until
you reach your goals. When we decide to live bravely and tolerate some
discomfort as a natural part of the learning process, these feelings diminish
over time and we are more motivated to practice our new skills. Remember, failures
are not personal. They are merely learning
opportunities that are rich with
Information about what we can do differently next time.
Set reasonable expectations for yourself
Learn to set goals that are achievable. Many
people with ADHD take on too much at one time, become overwhelmed, and then
stop. One of my clients had this experience when he decided it was time to
become more efficient at work and streamline his paperwork. When we first met,
he said he was feeling overwhelmed. When he thought about what it would take to
reduce the amount of paper and set up systems so he would know where everything
was, he quickly became overwhelmed. In his mind, it as one mammoth sized task. For
him, the first step to success was a mini goal: purchase a scanner. Once he saw
the purchase of the scanner as one small step in a series and paced himself
throughout, he experienced improved feelings of control and self-confidence
about making further changes.
Take action
Be prepared to take action in order to change
your life. For people with ADHD, this is often very difficult to do because they
tend to get sidetracked. Set the intention to take action and you will see
results. Although your coach will support you in learning how to follow through
on your plans, the most important work takes place between coaching sessions. Be
mindful every day that doing something
different is where the change occurs. This is when you will create new and more
adaptive habits. Remember, whether you succeed with a new behavior the first
time you try is not important. What is highly predictive of success is that you
took action in the first place. Action
creates momentum. Once you get started, you are more likely to continue moving
ahead. Remember too, that the quality of your action can always be modified
later.
Consider all parts of your life
Be willing to explore all areas of your life. For
example, if you make a plan with your coach for improved time management and do
not share that you have a wedding scheduled in the middle of your peak work
period, the plan is likely to fail. Be open to sharing what is going on in your
life, even if it does not seem relevant. The best way to put the pieces of the
puzzle together is to first throw them all on the floor. You can sort through
them afterward.
Remember, coaching is a partnership to improve
your life. Decide to show up
consistently, with openness and curiosity and you will find the success you are
looking for.
For more information on coaching for ADHD, visit the Medipsy website, or visit www.adhd-tdah.ca for helpful resources. The Medipsy YouTube Chanel also includes helpful videos on ADHD.
Lynda Hoffman
Certified Professional & Personal Coach
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