Parenting Stress and Social Support

Are you the parent of an infant, toddler, child, tween, or teen?  If you are, then chances are good that you’re incredibly busy.  And of course, the more sweet and amazing children we have, the more hectic life seems to get.  But that’s okay right?  We don’t have to be a circus clown to learn to juggle.  You simply need to be a parent in a high-tech, fast-paced society, making it on your own or with a partner.  And hopefully everyone everyone remains healthy, assuming they are. 

It seems that back in the day when we were kids, we just went to school, maybe had one extra-curricular activity, and played outside with the other kids in the neighborhood, free from excessive parental supervision in the name of safety.  But in our modern times, there are so many more things for parents to worry about, such as our children accessing elicit online material, sexual predators, and even engaging activities with peers that were unheard of 15-20 years go.   Add to this that today’s parents have much longer working hours which makes finding the time to connect with friends and building new relationship more challenging.  Even stay-at-home moms are spending more time behind the wheel carting their kids between playdates, lessons, sports practices, and enrichment activities, with very little time to socialize with friends.  This is very true if you are the parent of young children.   All of this can be as stressful as it is isolating.  In fact, according to one study done on the relationship between social support, family wellbeing, the quality of parenting, and child resilience, attending to our need for supportive relationships is indispensable for parents ⁽¹⁾. 

Many researcher have noted the existence of different types of social support such as emotional, informational, tangible help (physical or financial), and positive social interactions with close ties, just to name a few.  An absence of these in our lives can affect our sense of wellbeing, the quality of our parenting, and even our children’s resilience⁽¹⁾.  Intuitively we know it’s important, but science tells us why.  Researchers suggests that social support acts as a buffer between the things that stress us such as the loss of a job or an accident, and the potential effects of stress, such as ill health, depression, and general distress⁽¹⁾. 

This is especially true for parents with a child with a disability.  One study showed that parental satisfaction with emotional support was the only one of a list of factors studied, that had a significant positive relationship to parental wellbeing and the level of satisfaction in family functioning⁽²⁾.  This type of support can come from family, friends, even from organizations set up to offer support services for parents and caregivers.  Local community health centres such as CLSCs are a good resource for this type of information.   

Many studies have also shown that a child’s resilience, or ability to cope with adversity as it arises, is learned as new challenges are faced and met with success.  When children have the opportunity to witness their parents nurture other close adult ties, they learn that good relationships are an important aspect of life and eventually adopt this as a way of meeting the ups and downs of life as they grow into adulthood.

Certainly, being a parent can bring many joys and also many challenges on ones life.  It is important to remind ourselves that we need the care, the good ear, and the kind heart of people we trust and admire in order to really be there for the most important people in our lives, our children.  When we place importance on taking the time to do so, all benefit.

Lyane Trepanier, Ph.D. Cand., McGill University

on behalf of Medipsy Psychological Services

References

1- Armstrong, I. M., Birnie-Lefcovitch, S., & Ungar, M. T.  (2005). Pathways between social support, family well-being, quality of parenting, and child resilience: What we know.  Journal of Child and Family Studies, 14, 2, 269-281.

http://facweb.northseattle.edu/cadler/Eng_102_S2009/Readings/Shipping%20News%20Readings/Pathways.pdf

2- Snowdon A.W., Cameron S., Dunham K. (1994). Relathionships between stress, coping resources, and satisfaction with family functioning in family with children with disabilities. Canadian Journal of Nursing Research, 26, 3, 63-76.

February is Psychology month. Throughout the month, Dr. Fitzpatrick will write about value in our society. Don’t be afraid to write if have questions!

Whatever happened to values? A psychologist speaks out.

Remember Jimmy Stewart as George in Frank Capra’s 1946 classic movie It’s a Wonderful Life.  Remember how the angel named Clarence comes to earth to earn his wings by helping George who is considering suicide.  Clarence shows George what his world would have been like if he had never lived, and George recognizes that his self-sacrifices have created a wonderful life.  The movie evokes a time in which conversations about values seemed not quaint and embarrassingly saccharin but important and central.  You may be thinking, “She is just nostalgic.”  But in fact researchers Kesebir and Kesebir (2012) tracked the appearance of the general moral terms - character, conscience, decency, dignity, ethics, morality, rectitude, righteousness, uprightness, and virtue - using Google N-gram Viewer in books.  They found that indeed there has been a decline in the use of general moral terms across the twentieth century.  They also traced 50 character words like honesty, patience, and compassion and found a significant decline for 74% of them. We are talking and thinking less about values.

So what has happened to values in the public conversation? And what does psychology have to say about values?  During Psychology Month, McGill Professor and Clinical Director of Medipsy Psychological Services - Dr. Marilyn Fitzpatrick - will blog about the place of values in psychology.  Each day for the month of February she will deal with a question related to values in contemporary society and perspectives that psychologists and psychological research bring to these questions.  If you feel isolated from ideas like values and principles, if the public and private conversations in which you participate are less and less guided by concepts like fairness and more often oriented toward individual pursuits of personal gratification, then follow Whatever Happened to Values throughout February 2016. Questions? Don't hesitate to contact Dr. Fizpatrick at fitzpatrick@medipsy.ca. And don't forget to visit the Medipsy website and the Medipsy Facebook page!