I never have enough time for the things that are important. How do I make time for values?

Yesterday, I mentioned that even if our values are consistent, we will need to make choices among the actions needed to make them real.  This is the place where many of us get into trouble - juggling all of the activities that compete for our time and energy.  If you remember how we defined values (February 3^rd post), we said that values are bigger than a particular situation.  For example if I value security, I will want stability in my marriage, I will value making time to keep up my friendships, I will want to get to the gym to keep my body healthy, have solid relationships with my colleagues and my boss, and try to keep my children safe and get them to school on time.  You can see how a single value can lead to a multitude of different priorities as it crosses from one area of life into another.  The different life domains are the place where a single value can come into conflict with itself.  

Psychologists have been studying one aspect of this issue extensively for 50 years looking at work-family balance.  However all of this research has had little impact on the problem.  Work-family conflict is at an all-time high.  To make you feel better if you have a hard time juggling these priorities, you can read an analysis of the implications of workplace devotion for men and women in Williams, Berdahl and Vancello (2016).

To get a sense of how you may need to juggle values-based actions, I have provided a table below that you can use as a model.   Begin by selecting a value that is important to you (see February 4^th post for how to do this).  Then select some domains (Hayes, 2005) from the left-hand column where you want to act on that value.  Finally, think of one specific thing you can do readily (1-day), in the short-term (1-week), and in the longer term (1-year) to make this value come to life. This last step will take a bit of thinking so put this on your phone, or print it and put it the edge of your desk or your kitchen counter and fill it in gradually.  We will take some time in the coming days to address barriers to actually doing these things.  For the moment, give yourself credit for taking the time to think this through.  

Your value:
	1-day action	1-week action	1-year action
Partner/relationship
Parenting
Family
Friends
Career/work
Education/personal growth
Recreation/leisure
Spirituality
Citizenship
Health/physical well being

References

Hayes, S.C. (2005). Get out of you mind and into your life:  The new Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.  Oakland, CA: New Harbinger. 

Williams, J.D., Berdahl, J.L., & Vancello, J.A. (2016).  Beyond work-life “integration.”  Annual Review of Psychology, 67, 515-539. doi: 10.1146/annurev-psych-122414-033710